Divorced individuals, compared to their married counterparts, have higher levels of
psychological distress, substance abuse, and depression, as well as lower levels of overall health (Amato, 2000; Hughes & Waite 2009)
These days relationship has become a choice, not a mandatory subject to choose. The relationship starts with trust, care and attraction but then ends on heartbreak and expectation.
Expectations play a pivotal role in marriage life. Before getting married, most of us tend to live in a fantasy world where everything looks smooth and polished.
We need to understand the meaning of relationship first because without understanding it well, no one can adjust in a new life.
Definition of relationship
Everyone opens up at different points in time, and we have to realize we can’t expect somebody to be exactly where we’re at, at the exact moment that we are,” emphasizes DelGiudice. The relationship is the emotional bond between two people, a stranger that emphasis on staying together. A relationship is not bound to set fit in any definition. Importantly, people often find themselves stuck in an ambiguous relationship, situations because they don’t want to face what’s already in front of them, explains Brigham. “They don’t do what’s right for them, hoping that the other person will change their mind. I’ve never seen it happen.” In simple words, the relationship is based on five traits of life.
Like mutual trust, feelings, transparency, care and giving attitude. Expectations only kill
partners hurt that leave a bad impact on mind and brain in form of mental illness.
Higher expectations create unnecessary nuisance in married life because one has well said,
,Expectation probably means pushing the forward relationship in optimist or pessimist manner. ’Willingness to achieve or get something in return’. You must be thinking that expectations are always bad.
But the expectation is not bad nor good. It depends on the individual thoughts, perception, mindset and exchange of vibes towards each other. A relationship can be with partner, crush, family & friends.
But, here I am talking about a relationship that is bound to live together i.e Marriage.
So, let’s talk about mistakes that we casually make in commitment.
Ego is just a small three-letter word which can destroy twelve letter word called relationship. In simple words, the ego stands for ’I’ and only stay with one word called me. For example, ”I will never say sorry”.
”Why he/ she is not paying attention?”
How does he dare to talk with me so rude?
Theses small ego issues make one stubborn ruining partner’s life. Ego is like a layer that unveils all hidden secrets awaking inner enemies.
2. Lack of communication-
Many times, we hesitate to open our heart to spouse thinking he never understands. Marriage is like a plant that requires love, attention and time to grow in a giant tree. Tree brimmed with fruits( children) and green fresh leaves I.e. relationship. The charm of the relationship lies in clearing misunderstanding through communication.
The most important aspect that demand attention is patience. Nowadays, we want everything quick & fast. Understanding your partner’s need, the behaviour is a backbone of the relationship. Newly married couples often face many challenges in beginning. All they need to trust each other and give proper time to understand each other. We often hear people saying, ” Patience is a virtue”. But don’t make patience a habit in odd circumstances. Always believe in gut feelings of something wrong, so-called bad omens or intention. Domestic violence, physical or mental harassment must not be entertained. Our conscience always knows when we are wrong, so next time when your mind split between two thoughts. Just keep patience and wait for the right moment. Domestic violence, physical or mental harassment must not be entertained. Our conscience always knows when we are wrong, so next time when your mind split between two thoughts. Just keep patience and wait for the right moment.
Thoughts are like words that prick the brain to think upon and act. It’s like the waves in mind’s ocean bringing up and down the feelings, emotions on the surface. There are only two ways to change the thinking pattern.
For example, if you love someone then leave what your partner said and if you want to give more weightage to your thoughts, then leave that person.
Not every thought is desirable to act upon and not important enough to recall in the brain because you are hurt. Think and choose wisely.
Human has a bad habit of assuming things in bad manner. Our false assumptions might run over the relationship, moving to the end. 40% of message got distorted in mid of conversation. Every action has equal and opposite reaction. Be careful about your action. Might be you never realize that holding negative thoughts for a long time, assuming’s things can broke marriage thread.
6. Failure in acceptance-
For an academic definition, we can turn to Morgado and colleagues(2014)working definition: ”Self- acceptance is an individual’s acceptance of all of his/ her attributes, positive or negative.” Before & after marriage, a tremendous change occurs in both lives. All changes are small but as we know, quarrel lives in a small house. So, couples need to accept the change. Circumstances change rapidly as it’s the start of a new life. But if both remain unchanged then brain and mind reverse the thinking pattern. The functioning of the mind and brain put direct and reverse impact on the body.
From the above points, one thing is very clear that everything and everyone needs time & effort to accept the way they are or the way they have to be. Remember, no relationship is perfect as there is no such word. Everyone has flaws, imperfections and both should devote ample time to understand each other. Let them know what you want or how you feel being in a relationship.